Friday, May 10, 2013

day ten: i am embarrassing...

Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill.

Oh god, where to start... I'm a pretty embarrassing person, usually for the people around me, more than anything.

One time, while with Rick at a pet store, we walked over to the reptile room, and there was a tank with a really big turtle in it.  I got super excited, and squealed out in this little girl voice that I had no idea I had inside of me: "IS THAT A TURTLE??!!" as loud as possible.  People turned and looked at me like I was crazy, and probably thought I was handicapped.

Rick and I were in Southgate Mall one day, and there was a section of floor squared off with chest high boards, and we were wondering what was going on.  We were bouncing ideas back and forth, and then I got my most exciting idea in my head, and, in the same voice as above, and as loud as possible, I yelled out "MAYBE IT'S A PETTING ZOO!!!"  Once again, people turned and looked at me like I was crazy.  I probably am.

In grade six, I was over at my friend's house, and we went for a walk in the park by her place with a mutual guy friend.  We got to this bridge, and I really had to pee, so I was all "OHMYGOD!  I NEED TO FIND A BATHROOM, I HAVE TO PEE!!" and then I peed my pants.  On the bridge.  In front of my friends.  Awkward.

My second year of university, I was living in a dorm on campus.  A bunch of us girls went out and got way too drunk, closed down the bar, and came back to campus.  Upon entering the dorm building, I promptly fell down a flight of stairs... wearing a skirt... in front of all of the other drunken fools coming home at that time.  Later that night, we were sitting in our floor's common room, and the campus cops came to check on our floor, saw me, and were like "hey, you're that girl that fell down the stairs!"

I slipped on and fell up a flight of slippery tile stairs on campus, walking to one of my final exams, and cut my foot and knee open so badly that I was squirting blood.  One of the education building workers cleaned me up with hand sanitizer and bandaged me up, and I went on to write two finals that day, limping and bleeding through my leggings the entire time.  Robyn and I had just been dating for about two months at the time, and he came to pick me up after my exams, and when I showed him my knee, he took me to emergency, where he sat with me most of the night, and held my hand while I had to get stitches.  A month later, he had to take me to the doctor, again, because it had gotten so infected, that it was making me sick.  It took almost four months for it to finally heal.  When I started classes again in September, the first thing I noticed was that they had removed the tiles from those stairs and replaced the stairs with concrete steps... pretty sure that was because of me.

Grade six: math class.  One of my peers was making fun of what I was wearing, and I was turned around, defending myself to him, while the teacher was talking.  Annoyed with my lack of attention, my teacher demanded I turn around.  So, I swung around with my arms outstretched, and ended up slapping my math teacher on the ass.

I had short hair when I was younger.  Still do, but now I have boobs.  Tangent... anyway... Because of said short hair, I was confused for a boy quite often (hence the boobs comment).  One day, we were in a restaurant, and I went to go to the washroom.  I was washing my hands at the sink, when this total bitchface whore walks in, looks at me, and says in the most disgusted tone "ugh, I didn't think this was the MEN'S washroom."

I got really drunk one New Year's Eve, and threw up in a garbage can in a transit station.

In grade three we went on a class trip to Elk Island National Park, and went on a hike around this lake.  I started feeling really sick and lightheaded, and ended up throwing up halfway through the hike, in front of everyone in my class.

Last summer, I had the bright idea for Robyn and I to go horseback riding in Kananaskis Country.  It seemed like it would be SUCH A FUN TRIP!  We got to the ranch, and I got to see the horses, and I was so excited... until I actually got up to my horse and realized how tall he was... and then realized that I was supposed to get up on him.  It took me quite a while to psych myself up, and I delayed our group's departure time quite a bit... but I finally got up on that horse.  I mean, Robyn had paid for our adventure already...  I even turned around and told him I wasn't going to be able to do it, and he didn't seem annoyed (probably because he's the nicest guy EVER.).  So, yes, I got on the horse.  Cue the nervous crazy person laughter.  This is when I should have known that my leaving the stable would be a bad idea.  However, they lead my horse around with me on it for a little bit, and it seemed okay... so, I stupidly agreed.  Riding on flat ground was okay, and then we started going up hills... and that was okay.  But, when you get up a hill, you have to somehow get down.  TERROR.  It was at our first downhill point that I started getting really freaked out, and the horse could sense how terrified I was... suddenly, things were no longer fun.  I started freaking out, the hills started getting steeper, and the horse started to get upset that it was stuck with such a schmuk on its back.  Eventually, the horse decided that he didn't want to participate anymore, and the group leader had to tie my horse to her horse to get my horse to go.  Robyn's horse kept trying to bite my horse, too... which was not a fun part of the adventure.  As the hills got steeper, I started panicking even more, and the group leader ended up having to lead my horse down the rock steps and steep part of the ride, on foot, because I was hyperventilating and crying.  She actually had to lead my horse a good portion of the way... with a broken foot.  Eventually... after like two hours... we got back to the ranch, and I got off the horse, and I was so relieved I almost cried.  I apologized profusely to our tour leader, because I felt like such an idiot... but I will definitely NEVER be getting on a horse EVER AGAIN.  Needless to say, Robyn gave her a pretty good tip :P

There's tonnes more, but this is getting long :P

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Toodles, lovelies!

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